Sunday, August 13, 2006
A list of what I hate about our society (by no means exhaustive)
Maybe it's this long summer we've been having, and I'm sick of the long, hot days. Perhaps it's this headache I have this evening. Or it could be that terrorists are trying to blow us up. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty peeved that the route I take to work is closed for construction, and it's adding precious minutes onto my commute. Whatever the cause, I'm feeling pretty damned irascible and curmudgeonly this evening. My inner Andy Rooney has emerged. My George Carlin yin to my nice-guy yang has sprung forth, and I'm pretty damned annoyed. So I think I'll take advantage of this mood, and let you in on what really puts me off in our society today. Hopefully, I'll have everyone good and pissed off at me by the time I'm done.
And if any of you wankers out there try to tell me how great America is and how grateful I should be to live here, by God, I'll punch you in the nose.
You say you hated Jimmy Carter's malaise speech? Well, I'm about to give you a malaise speech you won't soon forget:
People who treat cell phones like lifestyle accessories and not, well, phones. They parade around in public with their ears glued to them, talking loudly, putting on a show for everybody. Get over it, America. Cell phones have been around awhile. The novelty wore off sometime around 1997.
Parents who allow video games to take over their homes, their families and their children's minds. These media have zero redeeming value, and please give it a rest about the importance of practicing hand-eye coordination. Instead, how about some eye-brain coordination? Tell your kids to pick up a book and open it. Better still, America, why don't you do the same?
Urban sprawl that eats up our bucolic countryside like cancer, adds to commute times and air pollution, and destabilizes older neighborhoods. Do you really have to live at the edge of creation just because they opened a new Applebee's out there?
Professed Christians who are part of the problem, not part of the solution. Instaed of whining because some salesclerk at Target wished you "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas," get a clue about what really matters. Do what Jesus would do and take a stand for love, justice, equity, kindness and peace.
African-Amerians' social pathology and march to self-destruction and distinction. The time has come to quit celebrating this insane elevation of ghetto, hiphop, gangsta culture and start looking toward self-sacrifice, discipline and education. Snoop Dogg and his friends have done more to hurt black America than George Wallace and Bull Connor could have ever imagined.
Red-state America's elevation and celebration of low-class, white-trash living. Don't get mad at the African-American lifestyle, then turn around and cheer on Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Gretchen Wilson and the entire NASCAR, Wal-Mart, trailer park lifestyle as some sort of pride in heritage. It's not funny, it's not cute, and it's definitely nothing to be proud of. And while you're at it, put down that loser rebel flag and get the damn chip off your shoulder.
The big lie of the '60s: If it feels good, do it. This has been far more than just some hippie, liberal thing for quite some time now. Americans of all persuasions have plunged headfirst into this creed of irresponsibility, betrayal of those they love and their ultimate demise, even if they refuse to admit it to themselves.
McMansions and teardowns. If your house totals more than 4,000 square feet, then your character is poor.
The entertainment/media juggernaut and America's refusal to unplug itself. The TV, movie, music, publishing, and advertising industries will pull off whatever outrage it takes to get our attention, and we always love it even when we're faking outrage. Whether it's Madonna crucifying herself, the 24-hour T&A fest on MTV and BET, or television's ongoing efforts to peddle sex and obscenity, we keep crying out for more, more, more. The people want what the people get.
Adults who refuse to act like grown-ups. Everybody, regardless of age, has to try and be so damned cool these days. If not cool, then childlike and always fun, fun, fun. The bulk of Halloween sales these days is for human consumption and not for kids. Likewise, most comic book and video game sales are for adults. St. Patrick's Day and Mardi Gras are no longer about good-natured carousing and more about falling-down drunkenness, lewdness, obscenity and hooliganism. Families can't canoe down the beautiful rivers of southern Missouri as a weekend outing anymore without a Daytona spring-break spectacle. For crying out loud, grow up, America and quite acting like a nation of frat boys and overgrown children.
Parents who refuse to rein in their kids. DVD players in minivans blare "Spongebob" lest their children go five minutes without entertainment, kids are allowed to run wild in restaurants as we can't expect them to sit politely at a table, and children throw tantrums in stores with impunity lest mom or dad actually have to do something about it. We teachers are the ones left to clean up this mess.
The prevailing me-firstism and selfishness that makes it impossible to get anything done in this country today. We can't do anything about global warming because our choice in what kind of SUV we drive comes first. We wouldn't want to equalize school funding to ensure every child can get a good education or make college more affordable, because that could raise our taxes. We wouldn't dare ask Americans to sacrifice in this time of war; instead, we'll make them feel patriotic about going to the mall. I'm glad our grandparents weren't this fat, lazy and self-centered. Otherwise we'd all probably be goose-stepping today to "Deutschland Uber Allis."
Wow! I feel better already. I do believe my headache is gone.
And if any of you wankers out there try to tell me how great America is and how grateful I should be to live here, by God, I'll punch you in the nose.
You say you hated Jimmy Carter's malaise speech? Well, I'm about to give you a malaise speech you won't soon forget:
People who treat cell phones like lifestyle accessories and not, well, phones. They parade around in public with their ears glued to them, talking loudly, putting on a show for everybody. Get over it, America. Cell phones have been around awhile. The novelty wore off sometime around 1997.
Parents who allow video games to take over their homes, their families and their children's minds. These media have zero redeeming value, and please give it a rest about the importance of practicing hand-eye coordination. Instead, how about some eye-brain coordination? Tell your kids to pick up a book and open it. Better still, America, why don't you do the same?
Urban sprawl that eats up our bucolic countryside like cancer, adds to commute times and air pollution, and destabilizes older neighborhoods. Do you really have to live at the edge of creation just because they opened a new Applebee's out there?
Professed Christians who are part of the problem, not part of the solution. Instaed of whining because some salesclerk at Target wished you "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas," get a clue about what really matters. Do what Jesus would do and take a stand for love, justice, equity, kindness and peace.
African-Amerians' social pathology and march to self-destruction and distinction. The time has come to quit celebrating this insane elevation of ghetto, hiphop, gangsta culture and start looking toward self-sacrifice, discipline and education. Snoop Dogg and his friends have done more to hurt black America than George Wallace and Bull Connor could have ever imagined.
Red-state America's elevation and celebration of low-class, white-trash living. Don't get mad at the African-American lifestyle, then turn around and cheer on Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Gretchen Wilson and the entire NASCAR, Wal-Mart, trailer park lifestyle as some sort of pride in heritage. It's not funny, it's not cute, and it's definitely nothing to be proud of. And while you're at it, put down that loser rebel flag and get the damn chip off your shoulder.
The big lie of the '60s: If it feels good, do it. This has been far more than just some hippie, liberal thing for quite some time now. Americans of all persuasions have plunged headfirst into this creed of irresponsibility, betrayal of those they love and their ultimate demise, even if they refuse to admit it to themselves.
McMansions and teardowns. If your house totals more than 4,000 square feet, then your character is poor.
The entertainment/media juggernaut and America's refusal to unplug itself. The TV, movie, music, publishing, and advertising industries will pull off whatever outrage it takes to get our attention, and we always love it even when we're faking outrage. Whether it's Madonna crucifying herself, the 24-hour T&A fest on MTV and BET, or television's ongoing efforts to peddle sex and obscenity, we keep crying out for more, more, more. The people want what the people get.
Adults who refuse to act like grown-ups. Everybody, regardless of age, has to try and be so damned cool these days. If not cool, then childlike and always fun, fun, fun. The bulk of Halloween sales these days is for human consumption and not for kids. Likewise, most comic book and video game sales are for adults. St. Patrick's Day and Mardi Gras are no longer about good-natured carousing and more about falling-down drunkenness, lewdness, obscenity and hooliganism. Families can't canoe down the beautiful rivers of southern Missouri as a weekend outing anymore without a Daytona spring-break spectacle. For crying out loud, grow up, America and quite acting like a nation of frat boys and overgrown children.
Parents who refuse to rein in their kids. DVD players in minivans blare "Spongebob" lest their children go five minutes without entertainment, kids are allowed to run wild in restaurants as we can't expect them to sit politely at a table, and children throw tantrums in stores with impunity lest mom or dad actually have to do something about it. We teachers are the ones left to clean up this mess.
The prevailing me-firstism and selfishness that makes it impossible to get anything done in this country today. We can't do anything about global warming because our choice in what kind of SUV we drive comes first. We wouldn't want to equalize school funding to ensure every child can get a good education or make college more affordable, because that could raise our taxes. We wouldn't dare ask Americans to sacrifice in this time of war; instead, we'll make them feel patriotic about going to the mall. I'm glad our grandparents weren't this fat, lazy and self-centered. Otherwise we'd all probably be goose-stepping today to "Deutschland Uber Allis."
Wow! I feel better already. I do believe my headache is gone.
Comments:
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Wow, that was entertaining. (really) I think I agree with you on, say, 60% of the gripes, and the number goes higher if I don't read the details of each gripe.
There are a couple of grips I'd like to address though:
"Urban sprawl that eats up our bucolic countryside like cancer, adds to commute times and air pollution, and destabilizes older neighborhoods" - Um..it doesn't add to YOUR commute time - you live in the city. Lets be real - people move out for a number of reasons: crime, traffic, poverty, weirdos, liquer stores, idiots in government (remember the Dallas City Council?), super expensive homes (which would be oh so much MORE expensive if their wasn't urban sprawl), bad schools (or super expensive private schools - your choice), etc., etc.
"Professed Christians who are part of the problem, not part of the solution. Instaed of whining because some salesclerk at Target wished you "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas," get a clue about what really matters. Do what Jesus would do and take a stand for love, justice, equity, kindness and peace." - Let me remind you that, according to the bible, our sole purpose on earth as Christians is to bring Glory to God. I hardly think that taking a stand against the exclusion and rejection of God in a marketplace that is largely composed of at least, self professed, Christians, is falling short of "what really matters." I'd also argue that Jesus would not take a stand for "equity," and tht "love, justice, kindness, and peace" are attributes of God that are only truly defined when we recognize God as the orginal, and thus, to say that we should stand for those attributes is to say that we should stand for God, which, is exactly what those Christians who are offended when corporations and individuals seek to minimize and quite the celebration of the God of the universe who died on a cross for His elect.
"Red-state America's elevation and celebration of low-class, white-trash living" - You might be surprised to know that I think you have a point here, although while not a fan of Nascar, and limiting my time in Walmarts as much as I can, I find nothing distasteful, degrading, or harmful to society in them.
"McMansions and teardowns. If your house totals more than 4,000 square feet, then your character is poor.
" - What? Are you just trying to provoke the sensible reader here? Most of the McMansions and teardowns are in the city, and, despite changing the look of historic neighborhoods to some degree, tend, at least in Dallas, to be very, very tastefull, and are typically replacing a home that SHOULD be torn down. And, just how is it that you think a person's character is poor for living in a home of over 4,000 sq. feet? I guess that puts an end to your support to Algore, who has two homes, one of which is in excess of 7,000 square feet. What about the Pope, does he have poor character too?
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There are a couple of grips I'd like to address though:
"Urban sprawl that eats up our bucolic countryside like cancer, adds to commute times and air pollution, and destabilizes older neighborhoods" - Um..it doesn't add to YOUR commute time - you live in the city. Lets be real - people move out for a number of reasons: crime, traffic, poverty, weirdos, liquer stores, idiots in government (remember the Dallas City Council?), super expensive homes (which would be oh so much MORE expensive if their wasn't urban sprawl), bad schools (or super expensive private schools - your choice), etc., etc.
"Professed Christians who are part of the problem, not part of the solution. Instaed of whining because some salesclerk at Target wished you "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas," get a clue about what really matters. Do what Jesus would do and take a stand for love, justice, equity, kindness and peace." - Let me remind you that, according to the bible, our sole purpose on earth as Christians is to bring Glory to God. I hardly think that taking a stand against the exclusion and rejection of God in a marketplace that is largely composed of at least, self professed, Christians, is falling short of "what really matters." I'd also argue that Jesus would not take a stand for "equity," and tht "love, justice, kindness, and peace" are attributes of God that are only truly defined when we recognize God as the orginal, and thus, to say that we should stand for those attributes is to say that we should stand for God, which, is exactly what those Christians who are offended when corporations and individuals seek to minimize and quite the celebration of the God of the universe who died on a cross for His elect.
"Red-state America's elevation and celebration of low-class, white-trash living" - You might be surprised to know that I think you have a point here, although while not a fan of Nascar, and limiting my time in Walmarts as much as I can, I find nothing distasteful, degrading, or harmful to society in them.
"McMansions and teardowns. If your house totals more than 4,000 square feet, then your character is poor.
" - What? Are you just trying to provoke the sensible reader here? Most of the McMansions and teardowns are in the city, and, despite changing the look of historic neighborhoods to some degree, tend, at least in Dallas, to be very, very tastefull, and are typically replacing a home that SHOULD be torn down. And, just how is it that you think a person's character is poor for living in a home of over 4,000 sq. feet? I guess that puts an end to your support to Algore, who has two homes, one of which is in excess of 7,000 square feet. What about the Pope, does he have poor character too?
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